Have you ever looked at your friends and wondered, “What happened to me?”
Maybe they’re earning more than you.
They have better jobs.
Bigger houses.
More impressive titles.
And you start thinking, “I’m already this old. I should have accomplished more by now.”
Our minds are very good at doing this.
They compare.
They rank.
They turn life into a scoreboard.
But here’s something I learned from Steven Hayes, one of the founders of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.
Think about Abraham Lincoln.
Do you know how much money he had in his bank account when he died?
Probably not.
Do you know what awards or accolades he received?
Most of us don’t.
And here’s something even more interesting.
We don’t really remember Abraham Lincoln simply because he once became President of the United States.
There have been many presidents.
We remember Lincoln because of what he did while he was here.
We remember what he stood for.
We remember the choices he made when those choices mattered.
And maybe that’s something worth remembering when our minds start comparing our lives with other people’s lives.
Your job title is not your life.
Your salary is not your life.
Your awards are not your life.
Even your achievements are not your life.
They are things that happened in your life.
Your life is what you are doing with the moments you have.
So instead of asking:
“How successful am I compared with everyone else?”
Maybe we can ask a different question:
“What do I want to do with the life that’s in front of me?”
Maybe you want to be a loving parent.
A dependable friend.
Someone who shows kindness when kindness is difficult.
Someone who creates something worthwhile.
Someone who helps another human being.
Someone who keeps learning.
Someone who gets knocked down and chooses to stand up again.
Those things don’t require a prestigious title.
You can start doing them today.
Because perhaps we’ve been asking the wrong question.
It’s not:
“What have I achieved?”
It’s:
“What am I doing with the life I have?”
A meaningful life isn’t an award waiting for you at the finish line.
It’s something you do.
One choice.
One action.
One moment at a time.
And eventually, all those moments become the life you lived.