This may be one of the most common errors in human thinking.
We explain behavior by looking inside people when we should first be looking around them.
Tag: Counseling Philippines
What does it mean to be perfect?
The word perfect comes from the Latin perfectus.
It originally meant complete.
Not flawless.
Not superior.
Not better than others.
Complete.
The problem-solving mind spends much of its time convincing us that something is missing.
Yet before we were successful or unsuccessful, admired or rejected, confident or insecure, we were already human.
Perhaps perfection is not becoming someone else.
Perhaps it is living fully as the person you already are.
You are not an unfinished human waiting for permission to exist.
When Doing Right Ends Up Feeling Wrong
There is a common assumption that change in therapy means stopping the wrong thing and starting the right thing.
But sometimes the very thing you’re trying to do to improve becomes a reminder of what you’ve struggled to stop doing.
The new habit reminds you of the old one.
The exercise reminds you of past failures.
The goal reminds you of how far you still have to go.
And when you inevitably stumble, it can feel less like learning and more like proof that change is impossible.
Seeking Comfort
When comfort becomes you compass,
emptiness can become your destination.
Living With ACT
The paradox of ACT is that many people arrive through thinking,
but heal through living.
When Your Faith Becomes a Mental Trap
Have you ever listened to a sermon that says:
“You are loved unconditionally”…
but minutes later you begin wondering whether you are truly righteous enough, faithful enough, or transformed enough?
You leave inspired — but also anxious, guilty, and psychologically trapped.
This video explores how certain forms of religious language can unintentionally create chronic self-monitoring, fear, guilt, and endless spiritual self-evaluation.
This is not an attack on Christianity or faith.
It is an exploration of how language functions psychologically.
Drawing from contextual behavioral science, ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), and functional contextualism, I discuss:
rule-governed behavior
guilt as behavioral control
coherence traps
fusion with moral narratives
chronic spiritual self-monitoring
and why some people become experts at monitoring themselves spiritually instead of actually living
I also speak from personal experience as someone who once deeply preached and believed these systems myself.
The issue is not whether faith is “true” or “false.”
The issue is whether certain psychological patterns increase rigidity, fear, and suffering — or create greater flexibility, compassion, and humanity.
Many people today silently struggle with:
religious guilt
scrupulosity
fear of not being “saved enough”
compulsive self-monitoring
or the exhausting pressure to appear spiritually transformed at all times
These struggles are rarely discussed openly because they are often mistaken for spiritual weakness rather than understandable psychological processes.
My hope is that this conversation creates space for deeper reflection, honesty, compassion, and psychological freedom.
📌 Watch the full video below.
#Faith #Psychology #ACT #MentalHealth #Christianity #ReligiousTrauma #Spirituality #ContextualBehavioralScience #AcceptanceAndCommitmentTherapy #PsychologicalFlexibility #OneLifeOnlyCounseling
If you are looking for counseling or psychotherapy services in Quezon City, Manila, or elsewhere in the Philippines, you may message us at
0917 886 LIFE (5433)!
https://open.spotify.com/episode/4Jm0KWZ2aor0gKo2PDj3lj?si=c5cUF3LTScak30g9qIR-dQ
To Live Without Regret
To live without guilt is to live without mistakes.
To live without mistakes is to live without risk.
And to live without risk ultimately turns living into lifelessness.
A Life Beyond Just Feeling Good
One unintended consequence of the prevailing disease or mental disorder model is that life slowly becomes a competition over who feels the best, the happiest, the most confident, or the least distressed.
But if feeling good were the ultimate purpose of living, we would expect our final tributes and epitaphs to celebrate people mainly for how good they felt about themselves.
We know that’s rarely the case.
Most obituaries are not about who felt the happiest.
They are about what people did.
How they loved.
What they built.
Who they helped.
What they stood for.
Panel Discussion on Scaling Up Contextual Behavioral Science from Individuals to Societies
This video features a discussion hosted by Nathan Chua (One Life Only Counseling) with guests Eugene (an ACT practitioner and psychiatrist from Malaysia) and Jacob (a licensed counselor from Wisconsin).
Panel Discussion on Scaling Up Contextual Behavioral Science from Individuals to Societies
In this session, the panel explores how the principles of Contextual Behavioral Science (CBS) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can be transitioned from individual clinical work to addressing broader societal issues. The discussion covers personal journeys into CBS, the role of language (Relational Frame Theory), and how system design can promote natural cooperation.
Key Topics & Timestamps:
[00:00] – Introductions and the personal journeys of Nathan, Eugene, and Jacob into ACT and CBS.
[18:01] – Scaling CBS: What changes when we move from helping individuals to influencing societies?
[22:42] – The different “spheres” of society: Cultural, technological, and political dynamics.
[24:21] – Marketing and RFT: How advertisers use behavioral science (often unconsciously) for capitalistic aims.
[30:58] – Human evolution and the challenge of cooperating in large populations vs. small groups.
[35:45] – System Design: Creating contexts where cooperation feels natural rather than coerced.
[41:59] – Observations from Malaysia: How “thought speak” and undercurrents of language influence racial dynamics and policy.
[52:44] – The decline of trust in modern societies and how RFT explains the shifting function of government.
[01:05:07] – Dreaming of Change: Practical ideas for reform in transportation, education, and academia using a CBS lens.
Panelists:
Nathan Chua: Author and Counselor based in Metro Manila, Philippines.
Eugene Koh: Psychiatrist and ACT practitioner from Malaysia.
Jacob Martinez: Licensed Professional Counselor from Wisconsin, USA.
Resources Mentioned:
The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris
Stumbling on Happiness by Dan Gilbert
ProSocial by Paul Atkins, David Sloan Wilson, and Steven C. Hayes
Bowling Alone by Robert Putnam
1984 by George Orwell (regarding “Newspeak”)
Better People, Better Country by Nathaniel/Starfly Chua
Two Shrinks Over Drinks: Navigating Wisdom & Psychology: A Conversation with Hank Robb
How can we move beyond just being “healthy” to living wisely?
In this episode of “Two Shrinks Over Drinks,” Nathan Chua sits down with Dr. Hank Robb, a seasoned psychotherapist from Portland, Oregon, and a prominent voice in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Relational Frame Theory (RFT).
Together, they dive deep into the philosophy of behaviorism, the limitations of the DSM “disease model,” and how small groups can drive large-scale societal change. Hank shares his unique perspective on making complex psychological concepts simple, digestible, and—most importantly—actionable for everyday life.
Key Topics Discussed:
[05:13] Technical Eclecticism: Why it’s okay to use diverse techniques but vital to stay grounded in a consistent theory.
[13:00] The Power of “We”: Moving from joint attention to joint intention in therapy and relationships.
[16:14] Creative Hopelessness: Understanding the transformation of stimulus functions—when letting go of a failing strategy opens the door to new opportunities.
[30:08] Misunderstandings of B.F. Skinner: A look at Skinner’s naturalism and why his denial of “supernaturalism” made him a controversial figure.
[53:30] Errors vs. Illness: Why focusing on “wisdom” and “wise choices” is often more helpful than traditional diagnostic labeling (DSM).
[01:03:00] Scaling Change: How principles from Eleanor Ostrom and small, value-driven groups can influence communities and even entire countries.
About Hank Robb: Hank Robb, Ph.D., ABPP, is the author of Willingly ACT for Spiritual Development. He is known for his ability to translate the dense language of RFT into practical metaphors that help clients “willingly acknowledge, willingly choose, and willingly teach.”
About the Host: Nathan Chua is a counselor based in Quezon City, Philippines, and the author of Better People, Better Country.
Connect with us:
www.onelifeonly.net
https://onelifeonly.net/order-the-book/ #ACT #Psychology #BehavioralScience
#MentalHealth #Wisdom #HankRobb #RelationalFrameTheory #Counseling #TwoShrinksOverDrinks
https://open.spotify.com/episode/7vnTD2k876ZMhfRi9A8VPn?si=SqFBTbaKSdek3pnVqSVrng