by Nathan Chua
I am quite certain that most if not all of you, my readers, have experienced being caught in a difficult situation and having to focus mainly on the problem at hand. When there is a crisis, we often develop tunnel vision and end up doing greater harm to ourselves and others. For example, when your teenaged child comes home really late, tunnel vision can lead a parent to think that the child doesn’t care and that the only solution is to show your anger in order to keep them in line. These situations don’t usually end up well. Often, what could have been a moment of tenderness and bonding, turns into a messy fight.
Now don’t get me wrong. Tunnel vision is not always harmful. There are plenty of times when you and I need it. If your toddler suddenly feels the urge to go towards an open window and tries to climb over it, tunnel vision will help you get your child out of that precarious situation. In these instances, following the dictates of your mind works well for you and the survival of your child. If there was a wild animal chasing you thinking you are prey, tunnel vision is what you need in that moment to come out of it alive.
The topic I’d like to discuss here is about the times when developing tunnel vision and instantaneously acting on it, may not be a move in our best interest. A timely example would be that incident when we saw a famous actor in Hollywood come up to a comedian in front of millions of people watching the Annual Academy Awards for motion pictures. We can say that Will Smith developed tunnel vision in the heat of the moment. Although the context of the moment would certainly make hurt feelings understandable, standing up and committing a violent act is the proverbial solution that becomes the problem.
On a larger scale, think about the war in Ukraine. That tunnel vision can cause egregious acts done against our fellow humans. To use an example closer to home, how many times have we seen road rage cause tunnel vision, rendering someone who has no record of violence helpless enough to physically or emotionally harm or even kill someone for a slight.
So here are some ways that I borrowed from Dr. Steven Hayes’ book, “A Liberated Mind,” that could be helpful for us to cope with tunnel vision when it occurs. In my opinion, it is but natural for us to get into that mode of mind, it only takes some mindfulness in the moment to avoid as I had mentioned earlier, making the solution become the problem.
- Try to sense in your body where you feel this current issue is affecting you. Is it a heaviness in the chest? Does it feel like a weight on your shoulders? Tightness in your head? Notice these sensations and give it a good clean yes. Give yourself a minute to experience this without defense.
- Have you seen anyone you cared for in your family who had suffered something like this? Recall that moment and see if you can purposefully witness their struggles with compassion.
- Say yes to the thoughts that come with this problem. See if you can drop any kind of struggle with it and notice them for what they are, just thoughts.
- Is there something here that you can learn from if you project yourself into the future? Is there something in this experience that can help you learn something about your life’s journey?
- See if you can find out why this is so painful for you. Behind anything that hurts you deeply, there could be the values you hold dear. Maybe you’re hurt because you care about honesty or openness. Maybe you are angered because of your love for justice. What could be the loving and caring thing to do at this moment?
- If this was a story in a book you were writing about a hero’s journey, what could this moment be for your hero? How can this moment make your hero become wiser and more alive?
- Do you have other memories attached to this present problem of yours? Can you willingly say yes to just one more of these?
- If there’s someone that you blame for this, can you think of times that you may have done something similar to what they’ve done to you, even if it was in a less hurtful way? Sometimes we point our problems towards other people and avoid seeing how we have in the past behaved in the same way.
- If you had a friend who had this problem, how would you feel towards them? What would you suggest they do?
- You have picked something that your mind says you have to say no to or that you shouldn’t have. Is there something that’s hard for you to give up in order to let go of that no? Perhaps saying yes to the hurt feelings would indicate that you are a weak person. Can you give up that struggle with that thought and allow that to be there just as a thought?
- If you could have these thoughts and feelings without having to fight them, what would you be able to accomplish in your life? Think about taking this along for the ride of your life or the journey you set out for yourself.
That’s all for now folks. Hope this will give you a wider perspective every time your mind gives you that urge to go into tunnel vision.