Marital Counseling – Page 4 – One Life Only Counseling Services

Do you need counseling?

One Life Only Counseling Services

Counseling for Individuals, Couples, and Families

Do you need counseling for depression, anxiety, trauma, relationship (marriage, family) problems, insomnia, anger management problems, infidelity, teen parenting issues, grief processing, addiction, procrastination, work performance, and even weight issues?

We are here to provide you with evidence-based approaches that are backed by reliable and valid scientific research!

We provide both in person and online video counseling for your convenience.

Please text (preferred) or call:

Mobile Number: +63 917 886 5433 (LIFE)

Available also on Viber and WhatsApp!

(The best option is to message this number through Viber or WhatsApp and we will gladly call you back or reply!)

Email:

info@onelifeonly.net

Connect with us through Facebook, follow us through Spotify and YouTube.

Our offices are located in Quezon City, Metro Manila, Philippines.

CMS Clinic

2nd Floor Back to the Bible Building

135 West Avenue, Quezon City, Metro Manila, Philippines

and

M Place South Triangle

8004 Mother Ignacia Avenue, Quezon City, Metro Manila, Philippines

Discussing sunk cost fallacy with Pia, Daiana, and Emma on Kada Umaga, Net 25 last July 16, 2025

Nathan Chua spoke with Pia Guanio Mago about parenting on Net 25’s Kada Umaga, June 2025

Interview with Chinkee Tan and Christine Bersola-Babao on MagBadyet Tayo about financial conflicts in relationships, October 23, 2023

The counselor is also an author!

Nathaniel Chua is the author of

Better People, Better Country: A Psychological Blueprint for a New Philippines,

published under the pen name Starfly Chua.
The pen name was chosen in homage to his grandfather and his ethnic Chinese roots, and reflects a preference for allowing ideas to stand on their own—without emphasis on personal visibility or status.

Here are selected endorsements from international colleagues and clinical experts:

This book is a fascinating personal exploration and cultural adaptation of contextual behavioral science applied to psychotherapy. It takes you, with great clarity and humility, from the philosophical foundations of functional contextualism all the way to its practical applications in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. The way it addresses the challenges of psychological well-being in the Philippines makes it a particularly valuable contribution.

Dr. Matthieu Villatte, PhD, Co-author of Mastering the Clinical Conversation: Language as Intervention

Better People, Better Country offers a transformative shift in perspective, moving from rigid cultural rules that invite moral shaming toward one of contextual understanding. Both deeply personal and extensively practical, Starfly Chua provides a psychosocial blueprint for change and progress at multiple levels of human existence. This book is an invaluable resource for the people of the Philippines because it moves beyond the exhausted cycle of demanding ‘better people’ and instead provides the tools to build ‘better contexts’ — systems that naturally support prosocial values that benefit citizens and country alike.

Lou Lasprugato, MFT

Peer-Reviewed ACT Trainer

For far too long, theories of human behavior and psychology have been relegated to the therapy room, used in private, and often at the individual level. We now have advanced psychological theories that can explain and help foster change at the societal level.

Chua reaches for the same shining star that famed behavior analyst B.F. Skinner once reached for, applying cutting edge behavior change technology to the community at large—not just for the purposes of greater mental health—but for more workable societies. Chua doesn’t just reach for this star, he grasps it firmly. Laid out in this book is a set of common sense reforms that could revolutionize the Philippines and the world at an achievable cost: our own willingness.

Jacob Martinez

Practicing Counselor

Wisconsin, USA

Nathaniel Chua is also a member of an international organization called the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS). He once became chair of the Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Special Interest Group (DEI-SIG) of ACBS; the first Non-North American to do so.

Nathaniel Chua has a Master’s Degree in Counseling and continues to learn more of the most cutting-edge approaches to working with the human condition.

Below is Nathaniel Chua’s first virtual talk held on November 17, 2023 in front of an international group of therapists from Low or Middle Income Countries (LMIC). He is the first from the Philippines to do this:

What is One Life Only Counseling about?

We value and respect your privacy and we keep what you share confidential.

You will be respected regardless of your religion, gender preference, ethnicity, economic status, and even your personal lifestyle and values. We are LGBTQIA+ friendly!

Your counselor will not impose their values and beliefs on you. We welcome people from all faith traditions—or even none at all. We understand that spirituality and belief can be deeply personal, sometimes a source of strength, and at other times a place of struggle. Our goal is not to impose but to create space where your values, practices, and questions are respected. Whatever faith tradition you belong to, you are invited to bring your whole self into the counseling process.

Nathaniel Chua, MA

Functional Contextualist Therapist

The Philippines’ ACT & IBCT Specialist

We mainly use ACT and IBCT which are both models of therapy that are based on functional contextualism – a science-based approach that focuses on what works in your unique life context. Both approaches help individuals, couples, and families move past stuck patterns, handle difficult emotions, and build more meaningful lives and relationships.

What is functional contextualism?

Functional contextualism starts with this simple truth: behaviors don’t happen in a vacuum. Every action, every thought, every feeling occurs in your unique context — and all of them serve a purpose.

What we mean by behavior?

Behavior isn’t just what you do outwardly. It also includes inner actions like thinking, remembering, or imagining. Some behaviors can be observed; others happen quietly inside you.

What we mean by context?

Context is more than the physical space you’re in. It includes your personal history, your memories, and the people who have shaped your life — whether they’re with you now or live only in your mind.

What we mean by function or purpose?

Every behavior is influenced by what happens before and after it. The “function” is the role that behavior plays in helping you cope, adapt, or move toward something important to you.

What we don’t believe or practice:

We don’t see you as “broken” or as a set of symptoms to fix. Outside of major physical damage or impairment, there’s no solid science proving that everyday behavior is caused by some permanent biological flaw.
You’re not a checklist of traits scored four-out-of-seven or five-out-of-nine. You’re a complex, whole, and freely choosing individual whose actions make sense in the context of your life.

Beyond Diagnostic Labels

We don’t use DSM diagnoses because your life is more than a checklist of symptoms. Real change begins with understanding your whole story, not fitting you into a category.

Medication as a Last Resort

While medication can sometimes be necessary, it’s never the first step we recommend. We focus on approaches that build lasting strength, skills, and choice – empowering you without unnecessary dependence.

You’re More Than a Number

We don’t use psychometric testing, because no score can capture who you are. We choose to listen, explore, and work with you through open, genuine conversations that honor your unique journey.

An Approach That is Recognized by the WHO!

The approach we use is also one that is endorsed by the World Health Organization as an effective psychological tool for coping with any kind of life crises! It can be described as a kind of psychological vaccine that has been found to be effective in improving and promoting mental resilience in the face of many, if not all kinds of life challenges.

Here’s a paraphrase from Dr. Steven C. Hayes in my interview with him on April 5th, 2022:

“Here’s what the World Health Organization, the best public health and scientific group in the world says about this protocol, this extensively tested protocol is helpful for anyone who is stressed, for any reason, in any circumstance.”

Since being established in 2009, it was in 2019 that we have been very excited to offer this type of a radically different approach to therapy that is not just about relieving symptoms, but also about helping people towards creating lives imbued with meaning and purpose.

Here’s a video about what makes One Life Only Counseling Services different:

You can read the written version of this video through this link: https://www.onelifeonly.net/about/what-makes-one-life-only-counseling-services-different/

Here is a recent interview for an article on Philstar Life featuring Nathaniel Chua and a legal practitioner about marital sexual consent:

https://philstarlife.com/news-and-views/928796-consent-rape-marriage-explainer

May 14, 2025 Nathan Chua was one of two guest resource persons at the UST campus with third year psychology students. Topic was about bulimia and anorexia.

Recent certificate given to Nathan Chua for presenting a talk about couple’s therapy in front an international audience of therapists from Low or Middle Income Country (LMIC). He is the first and so far the only one from the Philippines to accomplish this.

**Nathan Chua** is probably one of the **very few therapists** in the Philippines who’s been on **mainstream media** to talk about **ACT** and **functional contextualism** in a way that stays **faithful** to the model.

Being **faithful** to the model means therapy isn’t about throwing techniques together like ingredients in a salad. The “therapy salad” approach mixes bits and pieces without coherence, often leaving clients confused. An **integrative approach**, on the other hand, is guided by a **unifying framework** – methods are chosen and blended with **purpose**, creating a clear, consistent direction that serves client’s goals.

In other words, therapy isn’t about randomly mixing different techniques. That can feel confusing, like tossing ingredients together without a recipe. An integrative approach means everything fits together with a clear purpose – so the tools and methods used actually **connect** and support your journey.

Every step we take together has a purpose, not just a mix of techniques.

Here are some of the testimonials that people have given for our work.

**From a parent:**

My son was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder. He’s been undergoing therapy each year between June to September. He’s given synthetic meds in between therapy but i am not seeing consistent progress.
***We needed to find a psychiatric support that can really help him.***

***It was a blessing indeed when i met one of the resource speaker from our community event that introduced us to sir Nathaniel.***

***Here’s an excerpt from my son’s long message to me …. “learning a lot through this therapy and had a ton of realizations din so i wanna say thank u so much ma…”***

***One life Only counselling services is truly effective and i hope it can help more people who suffers from mental health concerns.***

**From a partner:**

Nathan is amazing! We learned so much about our relationship in just a few sessions. He also gives reading references, which helps a lot to navigate the information he provides in his session. Overall, would recommend to any couple in need of counselling.

**From a husband:**

***Me and my wife ran into a bad patch due to outside pressure put onto our marriage.***
***I decided to book a set of appointments with one life and I can say it help so much I wish we went years ago. We have an amazing marriage and friendship.***
***Best thing we ever did.***

Interview with Dr. Andrew Christensen May 14, 2022

Here is a live interview on Kada Umaga on Net 25 starting at the 25 minute mark:

Here’s a solo interview of Nathan Chua with an ACT Matrix Expert and Counselor from the United States, Jacob Martinez:

Interviews with the experts:

Here are two interviews with the two experts that have had a huge impact on my work in recent years. They are with Dr. Steven Hayes and Dr. Andrew Christensen. Here are the videos:

How couples go from, “aisle, altar, hymn” to “I’ll alter him (her)!”

by Nathan Chua

If you are like most people who are frustrated with their partners’ incorrigible ways, here’s an option you might want to consider. What if you and your partner can become more objective in the way you view each other’s peculiarities? What if these defects were just your differences? What if you view your differences more from your past perspective of why you two clicked in the first place?

Of course, this is always as we say, easier said than done. That person you thought had all the complementary qualities you wish you yourself had, has now turned into a nuisance. You fell in love with him because he was always cool, calm, and collected. He was never frazzled by any of the crises you had to deal with in your months or years of dating. Unfortunately, you realize that these same qualities when displayed in certain situations, are not the source of solace and comfort you wish they would be. They now come across as snooty or insensitive, dismissive of how you feel about your current problems at work or at home. You now complain and criticize, and your partner is flabbergasted. He thinks it’s unfair for you to come up with new standards of how he should be. Isn’t it that you loved me with all these qualities before? Why do you want to change me completely all of a sudden?

Now, I have gone through so many approaches to couples counseling in my years of working with distressed couples and have found this so far to be the most intriguing of all and probably can turn out to be the most effective. I call it the, Why Of Course You Do Therapy! Why? Because I realized that these are the very words I would be mentioning quite often in my work with couples! Given the circumstances and given your histories, you will react in certain ways that are quite predictable and understandable.

The problem starts when each of the parties in the relationship begin to demand, criticize, show annoyance, and reject attempts at connection or reconciliation. What were qualities that each of you accepted early in your relationship, are now irritants that turn you into adversaries. Your partner becomes a project to change. As mentioned earlier, your partner will feel rather betrayed if what he or she thought were things you were willing to accept, have now become unacceptable. The differences that you had once accepted have now turned into defects that can make or break the relationship.

The key is that through acceptance, your partner may in turn notice how much harder you are working to come to terms with what can be difficult to change. The irony in psychology is that unless we learn to accept things as they are, then change can happen. As the words of the great Carl Rogers remind us, “”The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I change.” This works well with couples too! The more your partner senses that he or she is accepted, then they feel more motivated to change. Why so? It’s the paradox of the human mind, the paradox of being human!

Of Wounds and Arrows: How Couples Conflicts Can Win Closeness

by Nathan Chua

It can be bewildering for some of us to think about conflicts as opportunities for closeness. How can these instances of excruciating feelings of anger, hurt, and aggravation turn into lovey-dovey moments? The key is not in what you fight about or why you fight, but in how.

The problem begins with a slow but inevitable part of being around someone for a significant period of time. It’s an unnoticeable slide that couples take as they begin to get off the stars in their eyes to a more realistic view of their partners. Slowly, differences emerge from the shadows as if they were never there when they first met. Unfortunately, this begins a cycle of conflicts that not only produces conflicts about conflicts but also the conflicts that they create out of discussing such conflicts. In other words, it not only becomes a fight about differences but also a fight about the way they fight.

This kind of relating can either produce feelings of helplessness and a surrender to a comfort zone that doesn’t increase closeness and retains the status quo, or lead to the eventual end of the couple’s relationship. Either one of the couple walks out believing that there is no hope for the relationship. At times, couples will just stay with unfulfilling relationships that not only gets in the way of a meaningful relationship, but also hamper their capacities to leave their kids a lasting image of a healthier way to deal with the conflicts that they will eventually have with others of their generation. After all, as some experts put it, the best couples make the best parents. No amount of parenting skills learned through self-help books and workshops can replace what children see in their parents when they’re fighting.

If couples can take time to record their fights and listen and analyze what one said that led to the other saying something more hurtful, someone with an understanding of how fights escalate will recognize that most of their remarks focus on what the other person is doing wrong, doing too much of, or not doing enough of. Alas, couples become caught up lawyering for themselves in the arguments. Left unchecked, this exchange becomes an unwinnable war between the couple.

A group of experts have come up with an easy to remember slogan that couples can take to their disagreements. To paraphrase, “Focus on the wound, not the arrows.” This means that in order to stop the vicious cycle of arguments, couples would need to come from a more vulnerable spot. Instead of criticizing the partner for something they evaluate as wrong or defective in their partner, he or she can open up with softer emotions that describe how some behaviors of the partner affect them.

For instance, instead of saying, “You never keep your word about coming home in time for dinner,” an aggrieved partner can say, “I feel lonely having to have dinner alone and neglected when I don’t get an update if you’re coming home for dinner on time or not.”

From this standpoint, the offending partner will tend to be more open to listening than being focused more of being on the defensive. Defensiveness is usually the second step towards escalation and unless you’re with a partner who’s as calm as the Dalai Lama, a criticism or sharp rebuke will usually be met by an equally strong defense.

Sharing vulnerabilities usually stops the attack-defend cycle. A vulnerable partner can be met with more compassion and empathy. This is when a couple can experience a closeness and connection that they have long missed since their early days of dating. It may be scary and our minds will come up with all sorts of reasons not to be vulnerable, but for as long as there are no physical or threatening verbal attacks involved, it is well worth the try. Eventually, you will see that conflicts lead to a closeness that has been absent for so long.