Do you need counseling?

Do you need counseling for depression, anxiety, trauma, relationship (marriage, family) problems, insomnia, anger management problems, infidelity, teen parenting issues, grief processing, addiction, procrastination, work performance, and even weight issues?

We are here to provide you with evidence-based approaches that are backed by reliable and valid scientific research!

We provide both in person and online video counseling for your convenience.

Please text (preferred) or call:

Mobile Number: +63 917 886 5433 (LIFE)

Available also on Viber and WhatsApp for overseas inquiries.

(The best option is to text this number and we will gladly call you back or reply to your text!)

Landline Numbers: +632 8277 1108

Mobile Landline Number: +632 7503 1343

Email:

info@onelifeonly.net

Our offices are located in Quezon City, Metro Manila, Philippines.

CMS Clinic

2nd Floor Back to the Bible Building

135 West Avenue, Quezon City, Metro Manila, Philippines

and

M Place South Triangle

8004 Mother Ignacia Avenue, Quezon City, Metro Manila, Philippines

Interview with Chinkee Tan and Christine Bersola-Babao on MagBadyet Tayo about financial conflicts in relationships, October 23, 2023

Nathaniel Chua is a member of an international organization called the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS). He is also now co-chair of the Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Special Interest Group (DEI-SIG) of ACBS.  He is the first Non-North American co-chair of the group.

 

 

Nathaniel Chua has a Master’s Degree in Counseling and continues to learn more of the most cutting-edge approaches to working with the human condition.

Below is Nathaniel Chua’s first virtual talk held on November 17, 2023 in front of an international group of therapists from Low or Middle Income Countries (LMIC).  He is the first from the Philippines to do this:

What is One Life Only Counseling about?

  • You can be assured that your information with be kept completely confidential.
  • You will be respected regardless of your religion, gender preference, ethnicity, economic status, and even your personal lifestyle and values. We are LGBTQIA+ friendly!  
  • Your counselor will not impose their values and beliefs on you.
  • We use a scientific model of counseling that has precision, depth, and scope.  Below are bullet points to let you understand better what we mean by this:
  1. By precision we mean that our approach to counseling tells you how these mechanisms of change work.  It is not enough to say that a sense of self-awareness is what creates changes in people’s behavior.  Our approach tells us how self-awareness works as one step within a set of processes that can lead to lasting change.
  2. Depth means the approach we use does not conflict with other theories and models of therapy.  In fact, many other approaches can be used as forms of treatment towards greater psychological flexibility.  Our approach for instance does not conflict with findings in the area of attachment theory, gestalt therapy, psychodynamic therapy to just raise a few examples.  It cuts across other levels of analyses.  
  3. Finally, by scope we mean that our approach comes from the discovery of the smallest set of processes that cuts across multiple mental health concerns from anxiety and depression to personality disorders to psychosis, etc.  It is a transdiagnostic approach that seeks to understand what many of the symptoms or syndromes come down to, so these processes can be targeted to address many, if not all of the disorders listed in different diagnostic systems.

The approach we use is also one that is endorsed by the World Health Organization as an effective psychological tool for coping with any kind of life crises!  It can be described as a kind of psychological vaccine that has been found to be effective in improving and promoting mental resiliency in the face of many, if not all kinds of life challenges.  

Here’s a paraphrase from Dr. Steven C. Hayes in my interview with him on April 5th, 2022:

“Here’s what the World Health Organization, the best public health and scientific group in the world says about this protocol, this extensively tested protocol is helpful for anyone who is stressed, for any reason, in any circumstance.”

Since 2019, we have been very excited to offer this type of a radically different approach to therapy that is not just about relieving symptoms, but also about helping people towards creating lives imbued with meaning and purpose.

Here’s a video about what makes One Life Only Counseling Services different:

You can read the written version of this video through this link: https://www.onelifeonly.net/about/what-makes-one-life-only-counseling-services-different/

Recent certificate given to Nathan Chua for presenting a talk about couple’s therapy in front an international audience of therapists from Low or Middle Income Country (LMIC).  He is the first and so far the only one from the Philippines to accomplish this.
Interview with Julius Babao and Christine Bersola Babao, October 25, 2023
Interview with Dr. Steven C. Hayes, the developer of ACT, April 5, 2022
Interview with Dr. Andrew Christensen May 14, 2022
Guest resource person with Boy Abunda on his show The Bottomline
One of several TV appearances on Sakto with Marc Logan and Amy Perez

August 12, 2022 Nathan Chua appeared on “Dapat Alam Mo Na,” of GTV Network as he talks about extended families.

Here a video of Nathan Chua’s appearance on a “Dapat Alam Mo” Episode:

Here’s a solo interview of Nathan Chua with an ACT Matrix Expert and Counselor from the United States, Jacob Martinez:

Interviews with the experts:

Here are two interviews with the two experts that have had a huge impact on my work in recent years.  They are with Dr. Steven Hayes and Dr. Andrew Christensen.  Here are the videos:

YouTube Interviews

Interview with Dr. Steven Hayes, developer of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy!

Interview with Dr. Andrew Christensen, developer of Integrative Behavioral Couples Therapy

My interview with Ms. Mhet Minon for Sonshine Radio about, “Confidence in a Time of Crisis.”

My interview with Dr. Matthieu Villatte, PhD who is an Assistant Professor at Bastyr University in Seattle, WA in the United States. He obtained his doctoral degree in psychology in France, where he was trained as a clinical psychologist. He moved to the US in 2010 to complete a post-doctoral fellowship at the University of Nevada, Reno under the mentorship of Steven Hayes, PhD.

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Knowing Your Potential Mate

by Nathan Chua

I am writing this not to advocate for any external form of ritual bonding for couples.  I have lately ended up telling my clients that neither am I a priest nor a pastor.  I am not here to judge what their lives are and what they’re supposed to do or not.  I am duty bound to respect anyone who comes to see me for their important questions about their lives.  So it doesn’t matter if you’re monogamous or polyamorous, straight or non-straight, what ends up mattering in our work is if you are living your life according to your best hopes for your short existence.

Now let’s get on with the topic at hand.  How many times have you ended up being in a long(er) term relationship with someone who turns out to be totally different from your own images of what a pair bond is supposed to be?  Have you ever heard of people who have jumped from one abusive relationship to another?  Here are some tips about knowing if you have someone worth considering in front of you:

Be Mindful, Not Blind:

It is understandable that you may have a shortlist of what you want to look for in a partner.  This certainly provides greater probability of success than just random choice.  Unfortunately, predicting how you and another human being will do in a close relationship is something that the shortlist will never be able to guarantee.  What I am saying here is that people are unique and can hardly be summarized in a short checklist.  No matter how long this list will be, not one person can match everything that you want.

Getting to know someone is pretty much like learning how to ride a bike, swim, or even walk!  There is no instruction manual good enough or long enough to tell you how to do these activities.  And so it is with relationships!  You won’t really get to know a person thoroughly by just comparing them to a checklist of qualities.  Why?  Because all behavior happens in context.  It’s easy to think about a person’s behavioral choices in a vacuum.  We usually do not appreciate the contexts in which these behaviors happen and blindly follow rules that end up with well, blind choices.  Your potential mate may be nice in a date, but what are they like in traffic or stressful situations? 

There are certainly good reasons why we should trust our minds when it comes to fending off a virus or an infection.  But trusting our logical minds to fend off the difficult feelings, thoughts, and memories that we experience in relationships, is a route towards possibly worse outcomes.  I often use an example of how our problem-solving minds are an absolute gift.  Mosquitoes are some of the worst threats to our health.  Without our problem-solving minds, we would not learn to slap them dead on our arms or invent a lotion to repel them.  We are quick to apply the same kind of problem-solving skill to our feelings and thoughts.  The bad news is there is no slap strong enough to keep your feelings away, nor is there an off lotion version that works to remove our unpleasant internal experiences.  If there was, please tell me.  Unless it’s some sort of drug or substance that sedates you, then feel free to reach me so I can take these substances myself.  I don’t think living a life numbed out or sedated is what I bargained for.    

Why is this worth mentioning?  Well, in a relationship your logical, sensical mind will tell you that your partner should never arouse any difficult feelings.  So, good luck with that if you aren’t mindful enough to notice the rule inside your head.  Relationships come with feelings.  In fact, you wouldn’t be in a relationship if it meant you were just going to be half awake all the time.  You’re there to feel something moving and purposeful.  You’re not there for a stale lifeless existence!  So be mindful of what you see in your partner in different situations.  See if you share the same hopes and cherished values.     

Keep in Touch with your Feelings:

As you spend time with a person, you would probably get a sense of what it feels like to be in their company.  Do you feel a sense of loneliness?  Maybe you are with someone who is preoccupied with themselves; they hardly hear what you have to contribute.  Do you feel incensed or angered that this person can’t make a commitment to arrive on time or do as they promise to do?  Maybe this person is lacking in empathy and consideration.  

If you are one of those who jump from one abusive relationship to another, then maybe it’s time for you to step back and listen to your feelings.  Maybe you are so tunnel-visioned into thinking what story your mind is creating about your long term relationship.  Maybe it’s time to wake up and check your feelings when you are with this person.  

I remember a story of the character of Lt. Dan in the movie Forrest Gump.  He, like all of us, created a story of his fate after the Vietnam war.  He wanted to die in war just like his war hero ancestors.  Just as you and I know, sometimes life happens however.  In his case, Gump happened…to save him from his inevitable passing as a war hero.  Unable to reconcile his experience with the story his mind wanted to create, he lived his life purposefully wasting his time fighting the memory or thoughts of an opportunity lost with the amputated legs serving as a constant reminder of a missed opportunity to fulfill his mind’s vision of a destiny.  In the end, he realized that he can still be the hero unto himself; the one who harbored a hope of living his life without his amputated legs but with much purpose as just Dan, the man, who may not be the war hero he dreamt of becoming, but a person of worth nonetheless.  

Just as Lt. Dan started to let go of his grand story of what he wants about his life, maybe you also can hold these love stories lightly, and see if this person is worth your time and love.   

Letting Go to Gain Control

by Nathan Chua

The School Play:

I remember some of the most fun I had back in my school days, was when we had to do role plays.  Not just any other role play, but actually create a skit as a medium to learn.  There’s also very little pressure as these were done in front of a class only and not a major production wherein a whole auditorium of students were there to watch.  

My Louis Vuitton Story:

I once entered an LV store in Metro Manila, and scoured through some of the merchandise.  As I was doing that, I noticed the attentiveness of the sales people as there were hardly any people around who were shopping.  I looked at some items that I thought were very impressive and their price tags.  As I was on my way out, I said, “I love your products but I can’t afford any of them!”   

Walking around with plastic buckets:

Have you ever had a time when you and your friends went out and knew that you were all going to do something rather unconventional and at times downright embarrassing?  Of course, always in the spirit of good clean fun.  Well, I am one of those who has gone out with a group of my high school male friends wearing clothes that should only belong to the home, carrying plastic buckets and brooms, and going inside a mall to deposit the stuff we had at the front of the department store where people usually leave their shopping items. 

Ordering a siopao at Mcdo:

When I am in a fast food restaurant, I sometimes order something obviously unserious at the counter.  For what reason?  Nothing just for fun!  As the heading for this paragraph tells you, I have in the past ordered the Jollibee Chicken Joy at a McDonald’s restaurant!

Which leads me to how I got to think about writing something like this for all of you.  When I did those I did not know anything about contextual behavioral science.  About a couple of weeks ago, I found an online audio resource created by Steven Hayes, the developer of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) and RFT (Relational Frame Theory).  He shared one of the ways we can pop that bubble or illusion that says we do what we think, by doing exactly what I had been doing sporadically since oh, high school?  I hadn’t realized doing these crazy things weren’t just fun, they were also about letting go of some of the rules that we tend to sell our lives to!  What I was doing was letting go of the rules that shackled me from pursuing what would be psychologically risky, but at the same time liberating.  I can choose to be how I want to be at any given moment!  

This article reminds me of my father.  He was a good but also misunderstood man.  Believe me, I was one of those who did.  He had always been a businessman who inherited a family business.  Through decades of working in the business, he could not manage to make a sizable profit.  He found himself mired in debt until the day he passed.  There was one skill that we, his kids, thought that could have made him a world-class cartoonist.  We saw some of his drawings of caricatures of his friends with a pen!  His every line had a precision that he didn’t need a pencil to make his initial sketch.  Awesome talent that was never discovered nor shared with more people because he thought he couldn’t.

Are you living with can’ts, shoulds, musts in your life?  Yeah they sure feel safe, but do they make you feel alive?  Doing what your mind tells you you can’t, is a part of the exercise towards breaking that bubble.  That bubble that says you can’t get out of that family business that is so comfortably limiting.  That bubble that says you can’t do this or that.  Don’t get me wrong, it is not my intention to tell you that anyone can be anything.  We all do have limits.  The question is, have you tested the limits and seen how liberating it can be on that side where your mind says no, you can’t.  And maybe you can just, by doing these silly things for nothing, be you, and no one else but you!

Nathan Chua’s Interview on One Balita, March 2024

Nathan Chua’s recent interview on One Balita with mobile journalist Marymon Reyes of Cignal TV-One PH about a viral photo of a public apology between lovers.
Video Below:

Is counseling really worth all the risks?

by Nathan Chua

Just like probably most of you, I have had questions about whether counseling is worth the effort and the risks involved.  Common reasons would be:

  • The stigma attached to seeking assistance from a mental health practitioner,
  • Talking to a stranger about very private information is scary,
  • Counselor might not be as good as you would expect,
  • it could even worsen your situation.

I have also asked some of the experts in my field that I know.  Why would risking talking to a stranger be worth it when these problems would soon go away anyway?

Here are some examples of what I mean:

  • Well, I haven’t had anxious feelings lately because my partner and I haven’t had anything to fight about.  
  • I haven’t had any trouble with my addictions, I just stayed away from the places that tempted me to indulge and besides I’ve recently had a religious epiphany! 
  • Yes, it was tough for a while but the memory of my departed loved one has not been as present as it had been, after a year of grieving and also keeping myself busy with work and my kids really helped.  
  • I didn’t have to have those tough moments at work, I just asked for a transfer to another department to avoid that boss I couldn’t work with.
  • Hey, we were close but drifted apart because we had a disagreement.  It is what it is.  I’ll live.

Well, here’s a metaphor that I would like to share with you to sort of provide my answer to these objections about counseling.  If someone you know got rich because of a process of growing a business and learning from mistakes, compared to someone you know that got rich because that person inherited a large sum of money, then you and I can say that both achieved the same outcome.  But the processes were different.

The point here is that there are places and moments where and when you can stay away from the hard stuff that comes with life, but where are you going to go where the thought of the substance, trauma, or abuse or failure or loss, doesn’t go?

Counseling is an invitation to you to join in a process, a journey, through the direction you thought you were capable of taking if only those nasty experiences weren’t there for the ride.  And maybe they won’t stop riding along with you.  So the work is about how it is that you can bring those painful experiences with you as you stay the course.  

And I would bet that that course was established by that younger version of you before you came across this thing between your ears that continues to remind you of past pains, continues to judge, and to compare and stop you from being that innocent you, who just wanted to see and be seen, to love and be loved, to accept and be accepted.  In a way it’s sort of a journey towards regaining our innocence.  There is a term for that innocence throughout humankind’s history: the ancients called it spirituality and in contextual behavioral science, we call it you-as-context.  

Let me end with a quote from Dr. Steven C. Hayes, the instigator of ACT or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, that can partly explain what it means when we lose our innocence and regain that spiritual sense of ourselves:

“Language has been said to have produced a “loss of innocence” in humankind. The story of Adam and Eve is perhaps a reflection of this thought. Spirituality is said by some to reestablish a kind of “experienced innocence.” Like the Zen koan that asks “does a dog have Buddha-nature?” We find that we cannot really go back, but that spirituality (you-as-context) offers one possible solution to the dilemma. Through a second type of contingency-shaped behavior, it may weaken automatic rule-control and allow the direct contingencies themselves to take more control. As one Eastern monk puts it “When I am hungry, I eat; When I am tired, I sleep.”

Hope to see you soon, here at One Life Only.