In counseling, I do my best to avoid labeling my clients’ behaviors as good or bad, right or wrong. Instead, I ask a different question: In this particular situation, is this behavior helping the person move toward the aspirations they have for their lives, or is it getting in the way?
Category: Life Quotes
Purposeful Living in the Face of Challenge
When life comes at us with overwhelming speed, our minds can be used either to lessen our suffering or to move toward our aspirations. At times, we are fortunate enough to do both. It begins with awareness, grows through the courage to act despite discomfort, and flourishes when we do it with kindness.
Are You Moving Towards Life or Running Away From It?
If you’re living life feeling tossed around by difficult thoughts and feelings, maybe it’s time to discover what truly matters to you. Once you do, your only job is to live it purposefully and intentionally, one challenging moment at a time.
The Values and The Logic of Living
Values are not conclusions reached by logic.
They are directions of living that organize logic.
Values supply the direction, logic provides the route.
Human Behavior As Shaped By Context
When rules fail, we reach for stronger rules.
When enforcement disappoints, we search for better leaders.
When leaders falter, we blame culture or character.
And when even that fails, the blame turns downward — toward voters themseves, dismissed as “bobotante” (“stupid” or uneducated voters).
Each move feels reasonable.
Each one repeats the same mistake: treating human behavior as if it were a fixed property rather than something shaped by context.
Starfly Chua
Better People, Better Country: A Psychological Blueprint for a New Philippines
Coping With Anger
Anger is a feeling.
It is not the problem.
Feelings are neither good nor bad, right nor wrong.
The question is not whether anger should be there.
The question is what happens when we follow it.
Can we express our anger with dignity?
Can we use it in the service of what matters?
It is never about perfection.
It is about becoming more aware of the consequences of our responses and choosing the path that works best.
Helpful and Unhelpful Anger
Anger is a fine passenger.
It is often a terrible driver.
When We Treat Ourselves and Others Like Things
The problem is not that we describe people.
The problem begins when our descriptions become explanations.
Personality becomes a thing.
Intelligence becomes a thing.
Diagnosis becomes a thing.
Attachment becomes a thing.
Before we know it, we stop asking what happened and start assuming we know what someone is.
We begin treating ourselves and others as things to be fixed rather than people to be understood.
Your Thoughts vs. How You Handle Your Thoughts
The goal is not to judge whether your thoughts are right or wrong, good or bad.
The goal is to understand what happens when you follow them.
Love as Essence vs. Love as Context
Love is not an essence to be found.
Love is a context to be built.